Don't know what to say...



I'm numb in many ways. I have a thought and just as quickly, it leaves. Sometimes I don't feel anything - no joy. no sadness. nothing. I think I'm in slump. But how I can be sure? I don't know even that. It's so bloody bizarre. It's like, do I post about my melancholy state, is melancholy even accurate? Do I wait until I know with certainty? What is it I'm waiting for? Is it winter blues? Is it winter doldrums? WHAT?



I hate not knowing. More so, I hate just being. I'm not used to this. I donated blood the other day and was told my blood pressure was 150 over 190. I thought AND, you're telling me this because... and I'm not normally like that. I'm very even keel and I sense that I'm off kilter. Only I don't know why or in what way. I know, none of this makes sense. This is precisely why I am so bloody frustrated.



I'm listening to Mississippi Queen by Mountain, Walk Away by the James Gang, Magic Carpet Ride by Steppenwolf, The Loco-Motion by Grand Funk and Free Bird by Lynard Skynard and typing. I have nothing else much to say. Goodnight.