Separation fatal to a relationship?

Some people use separation as a form of purposeful pain or punishment. The loss of the person is supposed to remind me of what I'm missing. Of events come and gone that can never be recaptured.

This is a concept I've never understood because for me out of sight is out of mind. Maybe I'm wired different in this respect, but I can honestly say that it doesn't take me anytime to forget someone and move on, regardless the type of relationship - romance or familial.

This came to mind because during lunch we were discussing the games people play and their effectiveness. My girlfriends agreed that varying techniques are successful, but on the effectiveness of separation, we were evenly divided.

Four gals agreed with me that separation only makes it easier to forget a person and move on and the longer the separation the more difficult it is to desire to reconcile. It's like: "They were in my life. They left. Let's keep it that way. I'm doing fine."

The others felt that it was so painful and torturous for them that they were compelled to bridge the gap. Which of course, the rest of could not relate to.

I liken it to being in a romantic relationship with someone who no longer desires you and chooses to leave. Some beg and plead for the other to stay. They negotiate and pledge to change/improve but to what end?

Why should I desire to keep hold of someone/situation that no longer desires me? Better to call it what it is, dead in the water, and move on. My energy is better expended on the good and positive people/situations in my life.